I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
