are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
