No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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