You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
