I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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