How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there's paper in my vomit.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
