ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
