so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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