i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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