So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
