On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
