32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
