the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize