i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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