I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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