my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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