you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
