that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
