You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
