dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
