Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
