Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize