the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
