covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
