1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
