I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
