I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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