she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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