did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
