is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
then he tried to convert me to islam
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
