Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
