did you get engaged???
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
