Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
North Korea, Best Korea!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
