well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
