TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
