As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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