Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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