DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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