My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
