I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize