How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize