Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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