Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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