There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
