For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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