How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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