tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
