I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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