you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
