Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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