why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
