my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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