You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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