he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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