spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
