This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
