i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
