thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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