its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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