Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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