Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I party with great urgency now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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