well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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