I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
