I puked a lego.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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