ya dads aren't the best wingmen
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
