so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
