Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
