she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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