Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's get the cat blown out
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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