we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
