Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
false alarm. still invincible.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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